I knew it was the last letter in LGBT, so it clearly was important. Certainly, I knew numerous people who fell into the first three categories. Lesbians: Lots of them among my social friends. Gay: Hung out with them all the time when I worked for Disney On Ice. Bisexual: Hellooooo mirror.
But as someone who’s spent a lot of time in the LGBT community and never actually met anyone who was transgender, I guess I didn’t worry much about the “T.” The more I paid attention, however, the more I came to understand that a lot of people do in fact worry about the “T” -- and for good reason:
“Transgender murders in North and South America in July occurred at a rate almost 50 percent higher than that of gays and lesbians according to a new study.”(1) This was just one of dozens of headlines I’ve read recently about the additional stresses transgender people face, beyond those of the LGB community.
Worse, some of those stresses come from the LGB community itself. Just last month, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” was accused of transphobia.(2) And it wasn’t the first time.(3)
On the other end of the spectrum, I started seeing headlines about transgender persons winning legal rights. In states across the nation, transgender people -- particularly youths in schools -- were winning the rights to be themselves.(4)
From horrible to happy, I was finding transgender people everywhere -- and I still really had no idea what it meant. I’m GLAAD there was someplace to go to find out:
“Transgender An umbrella term (adj.) for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The term may include but is not limited to: transsexuals, cross-dressers and other gender-variant people.”(5) As always, it’s more nuanced than that, and if you want to know more read the GLAAD link listed in the references.
Finally, I know what the “T” means -- and I still feel clueless.
It’s one thing to know how to describe a person, it’s another to know what to do when you meet that person. The world is full of even well-meaning people who have a knack for insulting everyone around them. I live in fear of being one of them, having spent most my life living in perpetual fear of saying the absolute worst possible thing at the worst possible time.
When I was in elementary school, I would occasionally have to attend church with my grandmother in the Bible Belt of Oklahoma. All through church I would sit there, terrified that when it was over I’d ask the lady next to us why her hair was purple. Or why her husband’s teeth seemed to move when he talked. (Having never actually seen dentures before, I thought perhaps he was some type of puppet.)
Have I ever told an entire room full of fellow travellers to stay off planes or trains so they don’t get swine flu? Or dropped the F-bomb at a meeting with my boss? No, but then not everyone can be Vice-President of the United States.(6) But the fear is always there.
So, what do you say when you meet someone who is transgender?
“Hello.”
And that’s the point. They are people like everyone else. Now, are their things not to say? Tons.
“Transvestite: Derogatory...‘transgenders,’...‘a transgender’..."transgendered’...’sex change’...”(5) It’s a pretty big list. SImilarly, there are lot of terms that are sensitive to transgendered people. “The descriptors male to female (MTF) and female to male (FTM) are often used to describe trans people. Many trans people prefer the terms ‘transgender man’ (same as FTM) or ‘transgender woman’ (same as MTF) because these terms affirm the chosen identity.”(7) This list, too, has more examples.
What’s most important to remember, however, is this: “Always allow (people) to define to you the way they see their identity, without making assumptions.”(7)
In other words, don’t be a jerk, and just ask them how they’d like to be addressed. (RuPaul: are you listening?)
One thing you’re almost sure not to hear in response is “transexual,” as it is not at all the same as transgender. Transgender people do not always get surgery to change their bodies, indeed they usually don’t.(8) More, their sexual orientation is not limited to LGB; very often they are irrelevant to one’s identity as a transgender person.(8)
I’m not sure I knew any of these things. I’m not sure I was smart enough to know what I didn’t know. And as someone who prides themselves on knowing a lot of things about a lot of things, that baffled me a bit.
Part of it is that there aren’t very many transgendered people out there. Though they’ve increasingly been part of the societal, legal and even pop culture discussion, mathematically speaking they’re one of the nation’s smaller minorities.(9) The Williams Institute “puts the number at three in a thousand (or about) 942,000 Americans.”(10)
Fortunately, we’ve become a nation that no longer allocates rights based on numbers. Seeing as that’s written in the Constitution, that’s a good thing.
Certainly, there is still a long way to go. But there are currently 17 states and at least 160 cities and counties that clearly prohibit discrimination against transgender people.(11) While the governors of seven other states have banned discrimination against transgender state workers through executive orders.(11) Progress, indeed.
Maybe someone should tell RuPaul.
References:
1) Huffington Post: Transgender Murders 50 Percent Higher Than Gays, Lesbians In July
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/trans-murder-rates_n_3824273.html
2) RuPaul’s Drag Race: ‘Transphobic’ episode pulled off air
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/04/15/rupauls-drag-race-transphobic-episode-pulled-off-air/
3) Pam’s House Blend: RuPaul Believes Trans People Should F***-Off If We Object To Being Called Tr***ies
http://pamshouseblend.firedoglake.com/2012/01/17/rupaul-believes-trans-people-should-f-off-if-we-object-to-being-called-tries/
4) Think Progress: VICTORY: Colorado Transgender Student Will Be Allowed To Use Bathroom
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/06/24/2200981/victory-colorado-transgender-student-will-be-allowed-to-use-bathroom/
5) GLAAD: GLAAD Media Reference Guide - Transgender Glossary of Terms
https://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender
6) 10 Celebs Always Making Foot-in-Mouth Blunders
https://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/10-celebs-always-making-foot-mouth-blunders.html
7) AMSA: Transgender Health Resources
http://www.amsa.org/AMSA/Homepage/About/Committees/GenderandSexuality/TransgenderHealthCare.aspx
8) DIffen: Transgender vs Transsexual
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual
9) New York Times: The Growing Transgender Presence in Pop Culture
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/13/fashion/the-growing-transgender-presence-in-pop-culture.html
10) Common Health: Living Transgender: Frequently Asked Questions, Resources
http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/01/transgender-questions-resources
11) ACLU: Know Your Rights - Transgender People and the Law
https://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/know-your-rights-transgender-people-and-law
A list of localities that ban discrimination against their public employees on the basis of gender identity or expression is available at http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/index.htm#public.