I am proud to say I choose Facebook -- and that I haven’t figured anything out since. I still can’t make heads or tails of InSnapaTwit, or whatever it is.
So imagine my horror when I read in the headlines “Facebook will lose 80% of users by 2017.” (1) I barely get people to click on my posts now. Losing 80 percent of my readership would drop me (lower) into the single digits.
Fortunately, as a media professional myself, I know a lot of these stories tend to be hype, so I read on. At which point I saw the study in question compared Facebook to an infectious disease.(1)
Much better. It’s always nice to know both my success and failure can be compared to bubonic plague.
Still, I kept going, and even if you get past the ridiculous premise of the article, the fact is Facebook usage is flattening and in the teenager demographic it’s even declining in some places. Fan-freaking-tastic: The only smart social networking decision I’ve ever made turns out to be yet another loser.
So imagine my joy when in my research for my “Unbroken Raina Thoughts” I discovered this: “Gay Teenagers Are Comfortable Coming Out On Facebook, And That's Why Facebook Isn't Going Anywhere Anytime Soon.”(2)
Reading the article, it confirmed what I expected: “Maybe they (young readers) weren’t visiting the site every day… but the network remained an integral part of their lives. They could not, and would not, and did not want to sever ties.”(2)
I wish I could say the rest of the article made me as comfortable. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think coming out for the first time on Facebook is a terrible idea, particularly for teenagers.
It has nothing to do with appropriateness or the nature of social networking. Indeed, I know a lot of people whose ability to communicate to the world at large their LGBT status would never have been possible without Facebook.
I have friends all over the planet, and many of them would probably have never known I was bisexual if they hadn’t read about it on Facebook. It’s not like I was going to send everyone a Hallmark card. (“I’m feeling free/ So I thought I’d tell you the news./ I’m LGBT/ buy me dresses in rainbow hues.”)
Honestly, if I thought coming out on Facebook was the best and safest way for a young person I know to come out for the first time, I’d recommend it. But notice the key words in there: “young person” and “first time.” These are two very complicated things, social networking can’t possibly make it easier.
The problem I have lies in the nature of Facebook itself, and ironically enough, the article promoting the idea of coming out states it perfectly.
“Facebook is seen as a safe haven, and a way to conveniently reach the ‘friends’ that they chose to trust by pressing a button that includes them in their network.”(2)
I think of Facebook as a lot of things, but “safe”is not among them. Do I think it’s a place where sexual predators lurk around every corner? No.
But when you’re about to make the most important disclosure of your life, I think you should absolutely know that every one you’re telling is safe. I don’t think that’s possible when being a “friend” is as simple as “pressing a button.”
There are no set rules about coming out, of course. But in every source I’ve read the process starts with finding someone safe to tell. Which I’ll discuss next week… where you can find it on Facebook…
I love irony.
References:
1) The Guardian: Facebook will lose 80% of users by 2017, say Princeton researchers
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jan/22/facebook-princeton-researchers-infectious-disease
2) Business Insider Australia: Gay Teenagers Are Comfortable Coming Out On Facebook, And That's Why Facebook Isn't Going Anywhere Anytime Soon
http://www.businessinsider.com.au/gay-teens-come-out-on-facebook-2014-2