At the moment I forget who it was, which I think is a good thing. Perhaps we’re getting closer to the day when they won’t have to announce it at all. It will just be one of those things you hear about people: Where they live, what kind of car they drive, what they prefer to put on their waffle instead of syrup. (We went through a lot of peanut butter in my house.)
Until then, however, every time it happens someone who doesn’t believe in LGBT equality will bemoan the state of world. Just as they do when someone stands up for LGBT people: “I'm so sick and tired of all this PC horsesh--! Everytime they show their ugly heads, the country loses more of it's rights.”(1)
For the moment, we’ll ignore the irony that LGBT people asking for equality is taking away people’s rights. (Commenters on right-wing blog sites aren’t exactly known for being geniuses.) Instead, I’ll simply say this: I at least agree with part of what you said, “daffyduck.”(2) I, too, am sick and tired of all this.
I am sick and tired that being “out” has to be news, fodder for people that don’t respect our lives as most of us try to respect theirs. I quote Ellen Degeneres: “You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.”(3)
Having said that, my biggest problem isn’t people who are sick and tired of those of us that are out. It’s the people that remain sick and tired because they’re still in.(4)
“There’s a reason we call it being ‘in the closet’ and not ‘in the spacious two bedroom loft with high ceilings’: Hiding your sexual orientation and/or gender identity from others can be a confining, isolating experience,” writes Jarune Uwujaren on the Everyday Feminism website.(5)
“Having to hear what your (not so progressive) friends and family say about LGBTQIA+ people when they think there aren’t any around. Wanting to date without wearing a sign on your forehead that says ‘available for same gender loving.’ Having that one person who managed to discover your identity threaten to out you to the people you never wanted to come out to. Living a partial life or an all-out lie. And the list could go on…”(5)
Couldn’t have said it better myself. (Which is why I didn’t try.)
But that doesn’t mean there’s not more to say. Because researchers are once again finding that “sick and tired” isn’t just an expression, it’s a fact.
“Lesbians, gays and bisexuals who are open about their sexuality are less anxious, depressed and burnt out than their closeted counterparts, or even than heterosexual people of similar age,” says a Canadian study that tried to examine the effects of coming out.(6)
The study’s author goes even further, saying, "Coming out is no longer a matter of popular debate but a matter of public health.”(7)
My initial reaction to this was, “Well, it’s about time!”(8) But when you actually start looking at the study’s results, things aren’t so clear cut, at least when it comes to the numbers.
According to the same study, “Stress… isn’t just psychological. There’s a biological component too.”(7) The easiest way to measure this stress? Cortisol, “a stress hormone made from cholesterol that is released by the adrenal glands.”(7) More stress means more cortisol, so you’d think LGBT people would have a LOT of cortisol.
The truth, however, is that they don’t, not all of them anyway.
True, “all of the ‘out’ participants had lower stress hormone levels and fewer symptoms of depression than those who weren't public about their sexuality.”(6) At the same time, however, “Out gay and bisexual men also had lower stress and depressive symptoms than heterosexual men.”(6)
This, I found hard to believe: LGBT men that are out are LESS stressed out than straight guys? Next you’re going to tell me Focus on the Family really does care about my family. Biology is a funny thing, however, and sometimes the body is revealing something the brain takes longer to understand.
In this case the thinking is something as major as coming out in public about a matter still as controversial as being LGBT may make LGBT people better at handling stress overall, thus limiting their production of cortisol. Sort of a rainbow Friedrich Nietzsche, if you will.
More, being out keeps people from being constantly stressed out by all the things Jarune Uwujaren wrote about earlier. Other research bears this out.
According to a 2011 study by an Israeli researcher, “A lack of family support was found to significantly heighten mental distress among the study participants, which can lead to depression.”(9) Conversely, it would seem being supported by those people after coming out would lead to less stress.
Like all studies, the Canadian study has its flaws. Montreal, where the study was conducted, is widely known to be LGBT friendly. Coming out in a place less friendly, like the deep South, the rural Midwest, or Focus on the Family headquarters might actually produce more stress.(7)
Fortunately, more and more places seem to be accepting of people’s LGBT status -- and now I remember who that celebrity was who came out. (I think my wig’s been on too tight. Or maybe it’s my pantyhose.) It was Ellen Page, who as a famous person once again says it better than I could.
“I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered."(10) "I am tired of hiding...”
We all are.
References:
1) Breitbart.com: DUCK HUNT: THE PHIL ROBERTSON 'GQ' QUOTE THE MEDIA REFUSE TO REPORT
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2013/12/20/phil-robertson-quote-media-not-reporting
2) Nothing says standing up for what you believe in quite like doing it under an alias.
3) IMDb: Ellen Degeneres: Quotes
http://m.imdb.com/name/nm0001122/quotes
4) And in the event you’re not sick and tired of the phrase, “sick and tired,” it dates back as far as 1783.
Online Etymology Dictionary: Sick
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?l=s&p=39
5) Everyday Feminism: Dealing with the Stress of Being in the Closet
http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/the-stress-of-being-in-closet/
6) Open-minded Health: Article Review: Sexual Orientation and Disclosure in Relation to Psychiatric Symptoms, Diurnal Cortisol, and Allostatic Load
http://openmindedhealth.com/2013/02/article-review-sexual-orientation-and-disclosure-in-relation-to-psychiatric-symptoms-diurnal-cortisol-and-allostatic-load/
7) New York Daily News: Coming out is good for your health: Lesbians, gays, bisexuals less stressed than closeted and some hetero counterparts: study
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/coming-good-health-article-1.1250356
8) Actually, it was “Duh.” But that doesn’t sound quite so literate.
9) Science Daily: Age of 'coming out' is now dramatically younger: Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens find wider family support, says researcher
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111011112759.htm
10) LA Times: Ellen Page targets Hollywood imagery in coming out as gay
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-ellen-page-comes-out-as-gay-20140215,0,4037676.story#ixzz2tV1Fj6pi
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-ellen-page-comes-out-as-gay-20140215,0,4037676.story#axzz2tV0DWF9j